In this clown world’s Bloody Sunday Dany’s unearned genocide-by-fire has caused a fan revolt that would see the writers responsible, oft-refered to as Dumb and Dumber, duly exiled to the ice planet Hoth. The duo is apparently phoning it in so they can get started on the continued degradation of the once beloved but now reviled cinematic universe of Star Wars, Ep. 9 to be exact. Judging by their recent track record of unfailingly “subverting expectations,” a la Rian Johnson’s hated Ep. 8 installment THE LAST JEDI, their turn at resurrecting the tortured franchise will be just more beating of Mark Hamill’s Jake Skywalker‘s irredeemably mangled corpse.A jumbled incoherent drug-infused mess is the probable result, like the Beatles’ horrid Revolution No.9.
Meanwhile, IRL … there’s an immigration crisis at this country’s border with Mexico; we’re still unofficially at war in Afghanistan now going on 20 years and the mounting evidence there was a spying ring and attempted deep state coup against a sitting president is plain as the nose on Jon Snow’s face. But what percentage of the population lives their life IRL? IRL is for malcontent Luddites who haven’t yet succumbed to the joys of instant messaging and the even-better-than-the-real-thing VR, not to mention medieval ultra violence and sex streaming On Demand!
But what do you expect when you take IRL out of your own hands and live vicariously through someone else’s VR? Did you never hear of the old axiom, “If you want something done right, do it yourself?” It’s understandable to be upset when something that has given you countless hours of pleasure devolves into such an unsullied piece of shit. Sure. And you can’t write it yourself, although there is no end to GOT fan theory and wishful thinking on how the storylines ought to have gone. But there are alternatives to having a conniption over somebody else’s fiction. Go ahead and turn the tables. Refuse to consume the trash they would force feed you and withhold the shekels their half-assed ending’s taking for granted. Fight back with just as much malice and disaffected savoir faire.
Instead of wolfing it down like they told you, read the damn books by that weirdo George R.R. Martin. At least you know those are fantastic non-perishable goods. Pull your head out of your glass screen long enough to actually see where you are going. Notice the little details around you that would otherwise have been lost forever. Stop being a drag on society you no-good couch potato son of a bitch. Breath fire and not pot smoke and Cheetos for once. Turn off, get up and get out. Go to a bar and raise hell whilst drinking beer … IRL.